Ep 11 Find Your Way – Living Well With Lockdown Part 2
Hello and welcome to Find Your Way, the podcast. I’m your host Gena McLean, author of the book Find Your Way and writer under the name Seeker and Sage. It’s a joy to be bringing this content to you, and my hope is that it finds its way into your mind and heart, nourishing you and supporting you as you find your way.
Hello and welcome to episode 11. This episode follows on from 10 numerologically, of course, but it’s also just a part of a little special I’m doing called living well with lockdown.
As I’ve said before, and as you are maybe feeling yourself, we are experiencing a very challenging time, especially in Victoria and NSW in Australia. I’m sure there are many other parts and places within this country and overseas that are doing it, in some cases, way tougher than we are here. Nevertheless, suffering is suffering and the struggle feels very hard and very real for so many. So in episode 10 I kicked it off with explaining to you how you can use Find Your Way as a tool to support yourself through this difficult and challenging time.
Then you know by absolute sheer, I’m going to say divine, timing and synchronicity, I held the book closed and focused on this struggle and this feeling of overwhelm and sense of powerlessness that we’re feeling with this current lockdown and after all this time of being restricted and the page I opened up to randomly was page 100 and the entry was called release and receive. That message was quite amazing in its accuracy and what we all needed to hear and receive. So if you haven’t listened into that, or maybe you’ll re-listen, I think it’s worth listening to again. And maybe revisiting in the days to come.
Today though, I have two entries I’ve chosen. So this is a different way of using the book.
And of course I know the content so I can go to the pages that I know, but still it is still a really great way to use the book is to hone in on a title and see and feel if that resonates for you.
Before I get into that though, I want to read you something from page 10, which is in the introduction and what I say there is that what I’ve noticed over and over is we don’t easily embrace change because we doubt our ability to handle it and don’t know how to find our way through it. Therefore, changing our relationship with change is vital. And if we want to come through change intact, then changing our relationship with ourselves as we find our way is essential.
So two key points there that can help you navigate the book as you navigate change.
The first point – I think we need to change our relationship with change.
Just a fundamental, I think that I’ve come to understand after all these years of journeying consciously, and at times unconsciously, and then realizing that I’ve been asleep at the wheel.
We have to change our attitude to change, our response to change, our ideas about change, our belief about change, all of that is up for grabs. That’s what I consider to be our relationship with change.
And the other thing, the second point is that we need to change our relationship with ourselves as we find our way through change. Because I also know first hand in my own lived experience as well as being the fellow traveler or the witness to other people on their journey, is that we can be so hard on ourselves as we’re going through hard times. And it’s just got to stop, like really and honestly from my heart I am saying, it is time to stop being so hard on yourself about how you’re coping or not coping, where you’re at with the change, the struggle, how hard it is.
They’re the two things, points, that have led me to sharing 2 entries with you today.
Before I do that, on page 11, I think this is worth reading right now. On the bottom of page 11 I say that – the entries within each chapter are designed to remind us of what we forget when we’re feeling overwhelmed or uncertain. Some will provide a quick prompt while others offer a deeper dive bringing you back to you and to what matters most.
So with that in mind, I want you to treat these entries as reminders. Which is to say that you already know this, we all already know this stuff, but we’ve forgotten, or we’re feeling so overwhelmed and powerless and afraid and uncertain, that we just can’t seem to locate the wisdom that we already have available to us, so that’s what these entries do to prompt that within you. And then also the deeper dive aspect. For some of us there will be a really deep wound or a big issue that we need to address to do with, for example, receiving.
Just hooking into yesterday’s reading or it might be about self worth, or it might be about abandonment, all sorts of wounds can be triggered during challenging times, so, if you do need to delve deeper. Just be really gentle with yourself with that. You know if something that I read or you read strikes a nerve, go gently, which is another post in the book. Go gently with yourself and do what you need to do to honor what you’re feeling. That may be journaling, that may be picking up the phone and speaking to someone, you may go for a walk, you may share it in another way, a safe way for you. But if it’s worth exploring, then trust yourself with that.
Now let’s look at the entry I’ve chosen, which is called waste nothing on page 112.
This is one of the ways that we can change our relationship with change. So I’ll read it to you first and then any little bits and pieces. Again, you notice what comes up for you, and I’ll notice what comes up for me.
No matter how difficult, troubling or traumatic things can get, there is always something to be learned from the experience.
Every happening, encounter, circumstance, set back, challenge, heartbreak achievement – no matter how big or small – can be used to gain ground, moving us closer to what we want and to becoming more of who we truly are.
But some situations are easier to learn from and go through than others.
Whether the conditions are simple or complex, we must refrain from forcing the wisdom into being.
Change is a process, as is learning and growth. And every change will have its own nature, its own speed, depth and intensity – none of which are ours to manipulate or maneuver.
Goosebumps to that.
Rather, what will serve our evolution best is to be open, aware and attentive to what emerges through the transition we are navigating.
We adopt a growth mindset, looking out for the learnings inherent in everything and integrating the insights and healing into our way of being when they come.
When we know deep down that the underlying purpose of every experience is for us to evolve psychologically, emotionally and spiritually we waste nothing.
We then live our life fully and with a richness and depth that brings purpose to every experience and encounter.
May I draw on the insights that appear to support my evolution.
Well, a couple of places there really grabbed me. I wonder if it was the same for you, so I made that little comment with the goosebumps. That change is a process, every change will have its own nature and its own speed, depth and intensity, none of which are hours to manipulate or maneuver. So applying that to what you’re experiencing right now, and what I’m feeling right now, what that does for me is it reminds me that yep, I cannot control how quickly I move through this change and I cannot control what I will take from it or learn from it or how I will grow through it. So there’s an element of trust here. In the sentence underneath it – that we be aware and open and attentive to what emerges as we are going through the transition. So again, this is about switching on our awareness. And when we join that with trusting that what we’re going through, we are growing through. That is how we can adopt the growth mindset and come out of the challenge with everything being used to aid our evolution and healing and nothing being wasted. You may have felt something different or, a word or, a little phrase may have jumped out at you, which is awesome. Even the prompt, affirmation, prayer at the bottom of the entry, may I draw on the insights that appear to support my evolution, So be aware of any insights that come and use them. For your own journey through this challenge.
That’s how I would take that right now. There’s so much more in that entry, but I just wanted to give you a little taste of how I receive the words.
And that entry as I said, is about changing our relationship to change, when we are open and attentive and aware and not just kicking back and fighting the change we open ourselves up to it, that is so beneficial.
The second point I was making in this podcast episode about changing our relationship to our self and with our self as we go through challenging times. The reading will be from page 116. This entry is called love yourself now.
And apart from the felt sense of unconditional care toward ourself that this will bring up, it has quite a practical element to it, I’ve found. So see what you think. And I’ll share what comes up for me when I get to the end.
Love yourself now.
So many of us hold the false belief that we have to prove ourselves and our worth before we can receive our own love.
But we need loving now, in the thick of the difficulty, while we are feeling sad, lonely, confused and scared. And the most potent love is the love that comes from our own heart.
We can look to others for love and support and we should – it’s why we’re here on this Earth, to connect with and love one another. But we must also develop an unconditional positive regard for our own well being, our own healing and our own journey.
Check in with yourself daily to gauge how you’re traveling and then do your best to respond kindly to whatever arises.
Care deeply about what you need and want and then give generously to support your health and happiness.
Value your life and the contribution you make by prioritizing the things that bring you meaning and fulfillment.
Appreciate you for you and vow to be loyal to yourself and your unique path.
Now is the time to love you, to nurture you, to care for and support you. Don’t wait. You don’t have to try, prove, justify, convince or demonstrate your worth. You were born worthy of love and deserve loving now.
May I find a way to love myself now exactly as I am, where I am.
There’s a few notes to make from that reading. For me, one of them is the paragraph that says we can look to others for love and support and we should. It’s why we’re here on this earth to connect with and love one another. At the moment, that is quite hard, especially to do in person.
And I think many people are feeling a great sense of fatigue around the dragging out of the restrictions, that’s my experience anyway. And so if you are feeling like that and feeling a little bit down about the inability to reach out and be with other people then this is so appropriate to apply this reading and this message to yourself. Because I go on to say that we must also develop an unconditional positive regard for our own well being, our own healing and our own journey. So maybe this is one of those big things that’s come up for you during all these lockdown patches. You may not be able to be there as often as you would have liked for other people. So now it’s time to really be there for yourself and to give to yourself and to really care about your own well being and where you’re at on your journey and whatever healing it is that you need.
The next little paragraph is quite practical – check in with yourself daily to gauge how you’re traveling and then do your best to respond kindly to whatever arises.
So this is about checking in with how we feel and what we need and also what we want.
But depending on where you live and who you live with and what your job is, and all the reasons you can and can’t leave home at the moment, what we want may not be, you know, as easy to achieve but we can definitely try and get what we need. And there is no one that matters more than you, to you. You’re the one that you need to look to to meet your own needs, especially when it’s so hard to connect and see other people in the flesh.
I go on to say that caring deeply about what you need and want and then giving generously to support your health and happiness.
So this is about really checking in and tending to your own well being and what that looks like for you. Sometimes you know to apply the concept of loving ourselves, it just feels too hard or just unattainable. We don’t know where to start, so that’s where I’m when I go back to those words that I’ve used about developing an unconditional positive regard. So even that, that’s something that you could unpack in journaling, or when you go for a walk, you can repeat those words over and over. And try that on and see what that looks like for you. What does it look like when you are applying unconditional positive regard for yourself? What are you saying to yourself? How are you treating yourself? And what are you actually doing, moment to moment or day today that tends to your needs? It’s just not something, especially at the moment, it’s not something that we can just let happen by accident. I think we need to be deliberate, especially if we want to maintain a sense of well being as we journey on this very turbulent roller coaster.
And as you know now, I learned this the hard way, but the more you give to yourself and care for yourself and care about your well being and your health and your happiness, the better able you are to care for someone else.
So it’s that term that we’ve all heard about filling your own cup before you can give to other people. It’s just so true. So don’t leave yourself and your own wellbeing out of the picture.
Love yourself now, tend to yourself daily and fill your own cup each and every day. And then you’ll be better able to help others as well. Because other people need your support too, I’m sure, so it’s about looking after yourself and in doing that you can then also look after others.
Well, I hope me sharing those two entries will help you to live well during this lockdown period.
And I hope that what I have shared, as I said before, gives you a greater understanding of what I mean by changing our relationship to change. So how we feel about change, how we view change. And also changing our relationship with ourself as we go through change. And that we bring kindness and compassion and greater awareness, self-awareness to ourselves as we navigate this challenging time. And remember the fundamental truth that underpins all of my work in this book and how I choose to live my life and advocate for yours, is that there is no right way or wrong way, just your way.
So my final encouragement is that as you navigate your way through this lockdown – that you will remember that you will find your way to best do that, the way that suits you best and serves you best. Because you are unique, your situation is unique, your needs matter just like everyone else is. There will be your own way, your own path that will get you through.
Thank you for being here.
Thank you for listening.
It’s an honor to have you with me.